“Look at me, all back of the bus and shit…”

You will hunt in vain for the relevance of the quote, I just like the sound of it. Try saying it at work and stare in wonderment as the Pitch Black fans pull odd faces as they try to remember where they have heard the phrase before.

Don’t get too big for you boots though and try it with Shakespeare though. A few will silently admire your education, most will think you a tosser.

Today started well. A flat car battery. That’s the short version anyway.

The long version. I turned the key in the ignition and the holy audio hell that is my car alarm woke a sleepy Plymouth housing estate from its peaceful slumber.

Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans…

I tried everything - taking the key out of the ignition, putting it in again, getting out of the car and pressing the lock and unlock on the key fob, getting in again, turning the ignition. As blood began to pour from my eardrums and the grey-haired might of the Badgers Wood Net-curtain Nazi squad grew more angered, I noticed the “boot open” light on the dashboard was lit. I tore round the back and slammed it shut. I slammed it shut in just the way I should have done after returning from Tescos on Saturday morning.

Shit.

The little light in the boot had been burning for almost 2 days and whatever charge remained had been sucked away by the loudest car alarm in all Christendom.

Fortunately, I pay £20 or so a month to a well-known motoring association in case of just such an event. A mere 20 minutes later the nice man arrived. I gave up singing “You’ve Got A Friend” only after it became abundantly clear he wasn’t going to join in and we passed the rest of our time together time happily, as only we British people can do with someone they have never met before and will never meet again, first by talking about the weather and then about work. I really shouldn’t have mentioned who I work for and I certainly shouldn’t have mentioned the strikes. Let’s just say that politically he was slightly to the left of me and leave it at that.

” You just call out my name,
And you know whereever I am….”

In other news, work continues apace on my Excel project at work. I have learnt more in the last 3 weeks about VBA code than in the previous 39 years. I even started calling it VBA…

Night Night Mary…

Categories: Car, Work
Tags: Badgers Wood, battery, boot, broke down, Car, car alarm, Excel, ignition, Pitch Black, Plymouth, Shakespeare, The AA, VBA, Visual Basic