Annoying Front End Commerce Malarky
Web Stuff
I have been busyish again. I think I have finally finished the front end - http://www.dyrms86.co.uk - of my online world. I am as happy as I can be with it at present. As always, when actually parking my ass down and getting on with it, I learnt some things about design and about me. I pondered and pondered about the design for ages and then just found a photo of a nice place near where i lived and started from there. My ideas on design have changed so much since I first opened Dreamweaver and typed “My name is Neil Argue and I went to The Duke of Yorks…”. In those days it was all about flashy animated bits and bold, migraine inducing colour. I remember sitting around for ages trying to choose between a design based around the school scarf or one based around a parade blues jacket. White backgrounds make so much more sense and avoid a hell of a lot of work I can promise you.
Its not all over though. I am still trying to find a convenient piece of software to host the school archive stuff. I don’t want to html the whole thing as I really want to concentrate on the content and not the code behind it. I tried using Wordpress (like this blog) and blogging the whole thing but it didn’t really work. It looked fine but navigation was a pig. I haven’t given up and as soon as I finish this, the search will continue.
Ages ago, some of you will remember, my website had a few Amazon banners. This was part of Amazon’s Associates program, through which website owners like my good self could scrape together a few pennies to pay for hosting and the like. In reality, I never made that much at all. There was a brief surge around the first Xmas when my 5% commission amounted to about £25 but that was it. I have had a few quid in my account for over a year now but they only pay out when you reach £10 so I will save it for a rainy day. Anyway, I added a link on the front end page to my Amazon Shop which is basically the same thing but a little more organised. I don’t think my 5% commission is too scandalous and you can always ignore it.
The daily photo thing is getting really difficult. Almost half a year to go and I often don’t remember until 11pm at night. Next year’s New Years Resolution is going to be something easier like learn Mandarin. This week I was reduced to taking photos in a toilet cubicle. Unfortunately, the only sound you can’t turn off on my phone is the camera shutter noise when you take a photo…
..and this week’s most annoying person is…
I almost made it a week without meeting one but the Saturday food shopping excursion never disappoints. If any of you reading this have ever worked at a checkout in a supermarket, then I apologise in advance. There I was in a local german discount supermarket. A full trolley edging slowly nearer the checkout. The young lad at the till was chirping away at everyone in one of those “nice but I want to kill you” voices. With every successive customer, the greeting was the same.
“Hello you today, what are your daily plans for today?”
Hands up who just vomitted? Just me then. He was english this guy as well. Not a foreign sort.
By now it was too late to get the hell out. There were two people behind me.
I tried to get in first by saying hello but it didn’t work. He swayed not one jot from his plan.
“Hello you today, what are your daily plans for today?”
Possible replies…
a) What the f**k are you on about?
b) Oh f**k off and get on with it you idiot.
c) Mind your own business.
d) A moody stare.
e) Slice off his head.
f) Tell him.
The first two got to the end of my tongue and retreated back in a mixture of cowardice and good sense. Contrary to popular belief, I am too polite for the 3rd. I can’t do moody stares deliberately (see previous posts). Unfortunately, my lightsabre was in the car so e) was out of the question.
So I told him. Big mistake.
“Ahh, the old gardening and painting fence DIY malarky”.
Git.
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