Stand Back..it’s a biggie..
My Blog
Yes, it’s back. I finally gave up on the old design. I tried and tried and tried to make it work but it wouldn’t. I guess the world is not ready for it yet. Instead I borrowed a design template and messed around with a little. Hopefully this design won’t crash the PCs of all my work-based readers.
MySpace
I am the man with two blogs. I am confused and feeling slightly schizophrenic. Is this my personal blog and my myspace one for my work mates? Despite what I said, I have been spending ages in MySpace just finding people I know, work with or whose music I like. I spent ages on the design, determined to make it look nice. I think I succeeded but so many people at work come up and say how much they like it (which is nice) and even more want me to help them with theirs or just want to know how I did a little thing. Unfortunately, the answer is either (a) It’s complicated and I spent hours working it out. Sod off or (b) I stole it from a web site.
There are a few things on MySpace I really love. The whole bulletin system is really good. The idea of a network of sites and a central noticeboard of all postings is very useful. The friends network is very well implemented too. Some things are ripe for me to steal.
My PC
I spent an enjoyable weekend (last week) cleaning out and reformatting my PC. This is very dull and I should not be boasting about it. Two days work and nothing to show for it that will mean anything to anyone else in the world. Still, I sit here an awful lot and it might as well look nice and perform well for me.
My Favourite New Widget
Be honest, you miss the sound of a clock chiming every 15 minutes. You miss the heady thrill of trying to get to sleep between the dongs. Miss them no longer. Thanks to Yahoo Widgets and a widget called Big Ben, you can have the school clocktower back on your PC desktop.
My Broadband
Over the last few months or so, my broadband connection has sucked. It goes up and down, slows down, speeds up and displays gibberish instead of web pages.
For 2 years, I was happy with a 512K connection. So much faster than dial-up. Then wonder of wonders, I was upgraded to 1Mb. Much, much better. Unfortunately (as I was told), I am on the very limit of distance from the exchange and I was unlikely to go any faster any time soon.
A few months ago, I was sent an Email by my provider (the big telephone one) that informed me that I could upgrade to their latest option which included an unlimited download capacity. Woohoo. This was good news. I frequently abused by 30Gb limit. This new option also promised speeds of “up to” 8Mb. Right. Just because I had to know, I visited their website and put my phone number into the little box that said “check your number and see what speed you could be getting”. The following popped up..
“Our records indicated that you may be able to recieve speeds of 2.5Mb on this line.”
Woohoo.
So now I pay £26.99 a month. I can’t get cable because the cable company refuse to lay a cable across 4 gardens to get to me. I can understand this I suppose, but it is galling that some of the guys I work with have 10Mb cable connections.
I got a new free router (yet another one…is it any wonder where their profits go?) and set it all up. I was sent an Email telling me that my service would be upgraded on Feb 15th. Feb 15th came and went. Still no speed increase. Infrequently at first, my connection would drop and I had to reset the router. Nothing major.
Just lately its annoying. Really annoying.
I got to the end of my tether last week and decided to contact “customer support”. I place it in quotes because it is neither customer focussed or in any way supportive. What follows is true. There is not one tiny bit of dramatic license.
Firstly, you post a query on the website. I entered the following in the box.
“Hello. Can you help me please? My broadband connection is very unpredicatable. It changes speed from 512k to just under 2mb, seemingly at random. The connection drops 4 or 5 times a day. Thank You”
Almost immediately. Yes, immediately a little box opened at the bottom right of my screen. That little ?Help Icon in my system tray had sat their for years and I had always wondered what it was for.
“Hello. My name is Vijayakama and I have been allocated your support issue.”
I was a little disturbed that this missive had crept past both of my firewalls, but this was clouded by my momentary joy.
Neil: Hello. Thanks for replying so quickly.
VJ: You are welcome. Let’s see what I can do to help. It will take our minds away from the miserable rain.
(Is anyone else feeling warm and fuzzy?)
VJ: First off all, can you open Internet Explorer and go into options?
Neil: I don’t use Internet Explorer. I use Firefox.
VJ: You must use an Internet Explorer. Internet Explorer is a program to show you web pages.
Neil: I know what it is. I just don’t use it. I prefer Firefox and have been using it for many years.
VJ: I am sorry, we are not trained in Firefix (sic).
Neil: OK. I am in Internet Explorer options.
VJ: Thank You. Please ….
(at this point I am directed to change or check about 20 settings in Internet Explorer including Site Advisor, Cookies, Trusted Zones, Deleting my cache…)
VJ: This will take some time, shall I place you on the queue?
Neil: No its ok. I have done what you asked. I am quite proficient with PCs.
VJ: How is your connection now?
Neil: 420k
VJ: Good. That is within the limits for your area.
Neil: That’s ridiculous. It has dropped 200K since we started talking.
VJ: Do you understand contention ratio?
Neil: Yes, its the theoretical number of people with whom I share my connection.
VJ: Your contention ratio is 20 to 1
Neil: But my connection speed was a consistent 1Mb for 3 years. It’s only since I upgraded to the latest Option that my speed has fluctuated so much.
VJ: Could you go into Internet Explorer.
Neil: Why?
VJ: I need you to check somethings for me.
Neil: OK.
VJ: Can you confirm that your site advisor is Enabled?
Neil: We just checked that.
VJ: I am not sure you enabled it. Please also empty your cache.
Neil: The Site Advisor has NOTHING to do with connection speed. I don’t even use Internet Explorer. Nothing you are asking me do has anything to do with my connection speed. Can you just test my line for me or contact the people at my local exchange to do it.
VJ: No, we cannot do that.
Neil: Why not?
VJ: Is your site advisor enabled? Would you like to go on the queue until this task is completed?
Neil: I have checked. It is done.
VJ: What is your connection speed now?
Neil: 505K
VJ: Your speed has increased.
Neil: Please try and understand what I am trying to say. For 2 years, I had a CONSTANT connection speed of 512K. Then I had a CONSTANT connection speed of 1MB. Now I had a connection that varies between 300K and 2.5MB seemingly at random. This is almost useless and completely annoying. In addition to this, the connection fails once a day and I have to reset all my hardware to get it back. I have clean wiring - no halogen lights, microwaves or power cables anywhere near my router. I have visited numerous websites and found several that indicated 100s of people with the same problems as me. Can you either check my line or send an engineer to check my equipment?
(long pause)
VJ: Do you know what your contention ratio means?
Neil: Yes. We just discussed this.
VJ: You may need to empty your cache.
Neil: I would like to stop talking to you now. Please don’t take this personally. Please show this to your supervisor or manager.
Whilst you are quite pleasant chap, you are obviously not sufficiently trained to help me. As a result, your Customer Support service is slightly less useful than doing nothing at all. I am paying a considerable amount of money for a substandard service only because I have no choice in my area. If I could cancel my account today and switch to a local cable provider, I would do. But I can’t. I asked you to get my line checked and you refused. I asked you to send an engineer and you said you couldn’t. I gather from the many websites I have visited that you are based in India and this may be the real reason you cannot contact the telephone exchange 4 miles up the road from me. I am half tempted to drive over there myself and tap on the window.
This is a complete disgrace.
I just checked outside and it hasn’t rained since Monday.
Goodbye.
Ok. So I was a bit sarcy at the end. The funny things is, my connection has been stable at 1Mb for days now.
Who won that one then? Not sure.
My Week
Off work all week. Going to see Jane (dad’s wife) on Friday for the weekend. Sophie is coming with me, so much Robbie Williams in the car on the way I suppose.
I love reading your blog, it makes me feel I’m not the only one with “customer services” experiences. Cheers sweetie. big kiss. Hx