Beep……beep……beep…..beep…beep..beep.beep

The following takes place between 8am and 5pm.

I am almost 40 and just rewrote the first two lines about 30 times. Just so you would get the idea that I was intimating the opening credits of 24. Now I told you anyway.

Whatever.

8am again and my two car companions did very well and did not keep me waiting. I fear I am giving the wrong impression of at least one of them. I did it again today and this is not fair. The J lady is not always late and I need to stop telling people she is. She may read this one day. Anyway, as Stan says, her smile is ace.

Which reminds me…

I am really grateful that you guys look at my photos on Flickr. I am even more grateful that you take the time to comment. I really am, but I thinks its only decent of me to ask that you refrain from commenting on photos of actual people in the photos. I know the comments were nice but I suspect their husbands won’t like it.
So 8am. Even more traffic than Monday. Almost late. I have also discovered I am useless at driving at 5mph and need at least 500 yards thinking time to change lanes. First shock. Horror of horrors, our pictorial life stories have been thrown away and are now creased and covered in coffee. Thank heavens I took a photo.

Today was all about counselling and conduct interviews. How to deal with conflict and such. Very cool and as I may have said yesterday - I can’t be bothered to check - I think we are learning as much about ourselves as about the company. Ok, so that may sound trite and I am sure it is rattled out at many a team bonding session but I honestly believe its true. Three of the people on the course, I see every day. Two of them I see a lot and we nearly always chat about our management problems. However, sitting in the smoking area and sitting in an room tossing ideas around are two completely different things. Smirk. I just said “tossing”.

As is my want, I am not being very specific in my meanderings due to my wish not to come up first in the list of Google results when people type in the name of my employer and the words “gossip”, “hell” or whatever”, but I hope I am making some sense.

Our noble school made its second daily appearance when I had a good yak about how the discipline present in my school life and early home life is sadly lacking from the workplace - even in the tiniest moderation. It’s all about chatting and reconciliation these days and sometimes I just wish people who were late for work repeatedly were given a bollocking in front of everyone. I know it’s never going to happen but I can dream. Interestingly, one of my new course chums from another shift had just told us all how she hated going on board her ex-husband’s ships because she found all the saluting embarrassing and unnecessary. In the end she saw something in what I said. By the time I made it clear that saluting at work was not on my agenda she seemed much happier.

At the end of the day we sat through what has become known as “The Banter Video” again. I saw this only a few months ago and could have frankly done without seeing it again, but I was in a room full of women so I shut up. The video in question is a management instructional video and takes the form of a short dramatisation filmed at one of our big workplaces in London. It’s a noble and worthwhile effort, but as I think I said when we first saw it, it all seemed blindingly obvious to me. Of course the racist man shouldn’t have been racist. Of course the chauvinist arse shouldn’t have tried it on with the attached lady and then been horrible about her when she turned him down….and so it went on. Sitting there watching the scene where the big fat bloke admits to the bullied lady that he hates being called big and fat had the same effect on me as last time. The actress says “I wish I could laugh it all off like you” and the big guy turns and says “but do I? (Clint Eastwood like pause as he takes a drag on his “fag”) ..some days I hate it…” It’s like the director wanted to direct “Look Back In Anger” and had to settle for Open University Physics Module IIb. The actress then pulls a face as if to signal that we should now switch to “ponder” mode and put our second finger on our chin.

“Mmmmmm….you know, things are not so straightforward as I always thought….”

What makes it worse is that once John Q Employee got wind of this video, they started asking if everyone could watch it. A few noble and brave managers said wise things like “Well, its really a management tool and not aimed at anyone else”. Unfortunately, they were drowned out by those who asked the question “Would anyone like to see this video?”. Well, thats what they said. What was heard by the hardworking persons who do the donkey work was “would you like two hours off at some point to watch a DVD?”. Well, knock me down with a kipper and call me Susan if many didn’t decide to give it a go.

Mr Common Sense. You are the Weakest Link. Goodbye.

Categories: Anger, Blog, Car, DYRMS, Memories, Photography, TV, Work
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