Windy Miller Never Buys Levis

I am off work this week. Did I say? Sorry.

For some reason, I reached the ripe old age of 38 and managed to avoid jeans with fly buttons. There is nothing wrong with the zip, but we cowboys obviously appreciate the original rivets. Not when you are 38 and really need a pee you don’t. If you want to simulate my predicament in the comfort of your own home, try opening a can of John Smiths wearing mittens.

No wonder Trumpton smelt faintly of wee.

Piratical Ponderings

In about 2 hours, I will be comfortably esconced in the air-conditioned, comfy seated heaven that is my local multiplex. X-Men 3 here I come. Those of you who have recently patronised a cinema will be aware of the anti-piracy propaganda that assaults the eyes in between the adverts and the trailers. There are two sorts.

The one that shows a crappy little postage stamp sized image of The Fantastic Four and says something along the lines of “some people have already seen The Fantastic Four, but they saw this crappy picture and had crappy sound etc…” Would that it were so, noble film studio exec. Unfortunately, within days (actually the day after I think), I had the opportunity to sneak a peak at a copy floating around at work. It was DVD quality, as are most of the copies floating around by now. This is bad. Of course it is. Intellectual theft is still theft. What still amazes me is that the campaigns to stop people downloading these films still concentrate on the illegality of it and that it is morally wrong. Sorry guys but that doesn’t work with music and doesn’t work with films either. Do you really expect people on a limited income to resist a free DVD quality version of the latest blockbuster or a free mint copy of Eminem’s latest CD? Sadly, I think they do. Unfortunately, the vast majority of us would still pick up a £20 in the street and pocket it. That’s what this is guys. Picking up things on the street that other people have dropped there. Be it a DVD, a CD or a £20 note. Downloading Movies and Music is about as difficult as putting on a hat and the only way to stop it is to stop it being there. To paraphrase Richard Dreyfus from my favourite film, if you take the swimmers out of the water, the sharks will feed somewhere else. Is it that simple? I think it just might be. On that sad day when you suddenly can’t easily download stuff from the net, 99.999% of the population will shrug their shoulders, possibly cry a little and then get on with something else.

The other sort is the card that appears just before each film inviting you to shop anyone you see using a video camera in the cinema. I have a feeling that the sort of person who would shop someone would do so without any encouragement from Warner Brothers. I would probably do it if the person was sitting next to me, but only if was smaller than me and didn’t look very tough……and I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I would just like to finish by stating that I do not possess any pirated material of any sort and that anyone who does should burn in hell, especially if they are poor,unemployed or stupid.

Categories: Anger, Movies, TV
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