It will soon be time to get our suitcases down from the attic and pack for home. In recent days, the Dukie Christmas played out like a festive tableux aided by our eagerness to be somewhere else very soon. The service of nine lessons and carols was was too long as always, the Christmas dinner was gloomy but different - a festival of weirdness in which the youngsters wait on the elders, even going so far as to read out the menu even though some of the elders had been attending for over 20 years and knew it by heart. Mr Morse’s last german lesson of the year was a game of bingo where you could win a Mars bar providing you shouted “haus” and not “house”.

Closer to home and closer to now, things are a little different. I still haven’t bought any presents - as usual a Christmas Eve rush looks like the way to go. My gifts from others are already under the tree and at 37, I still feel a childlike curiosity to have a peek.

At work, 1000 Christmas temps fill the place like burberry clad squatters. Just when you think the youth of today can’t get any worse…

Space Cadets? Anyone watching? Pretty compulsive and convincing until I recognised one of the “contestants” in an advert the other day. Yes, I know we have been told 3 of the 9 are actors, but I think we are all being fooled, ladies and gents. It’s 11th December 2005 and I predict it is us, the audience, being fooled.

If you don’t believe me. The “advert” is about giving blood, where celebs are filmed with members of the public saying things like “if it wasn’t for these two, I would have died of blood loss”…etc.

In one of them, Gordon “f**k” Ramsey is saying something similar to the above in a pub when a guy leaps up in front of him when his team scores on the telly. Yes, one of them is the bearded fool with big hair on Space Cadets.

Trust me. They are ALL actors and we are being fooled. You read it here first.

Categories: DYRMS, Memories, TV
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