After almost 10 years online, today I reached the end of my tether and need to share this with you all. Replying to spam never works as the return addresses are all faked, so you lot will have to do. Pass this on to anyone who will listen.

To all people who have sent me a Spam Email during the last 10 years.

1. My penis is just fine, thank you for asking.

2. Why the f**k would I want to refinance my mortgage with a company in Florida?

3. I don’t require any medication and if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t buy it from someone who can’t spell it.

4. I deeply regret the situation in Zambia (or wherever the f**k you are from) and although I sympathise with the problems of having nowhere to dump zillions of dollars, you are barking up the wrong tree with me sonny.

5. You correctly guess that I don’t have a degree, however I DO know that the word diploma doesn’t have a 1 in it.

6. Posing as my bank. Very admirable. No you can’t have my account information you asshat.

7. Re: I never sent you an Email in the first place.

8. “Your PC is infected”. How the f**k do you know?

9. Thanks for the stock tip. Who the f**k are you by the way? NASDAQ?

10. I’ve kept your Email address. If I need a hot date I will be in touch.

11. Dear “Mr. mail@dyrms86.com”. Damn you have some clever software there you genious. It worked out my first name in order to give you shitty Email that personal touch. It cleverly took ALL THE DAMN EMAIL ADDRESS and stuck the word “MR” in front of it.

12. I have won a lottery? Brilliant. Hang on. Almost got me there dickwad.

I thank you.

Categories: Anger, Internet, Spam
Tags: